BISBEE WIRE 3/21

editor: fred miller February 14, 2021 #3 February 2021


Hello,


One thing that the impeachment acquittal showed is that the repugnican party has been hollowed out at the State and national levels and filled with a hodge podge of alternative reality whack jobs. The quislings in the Senate were on full display with their impeachment acquittal votes. More important than the disgusting public sniveling of old overweight, rich white guys was that it was a demonstration that the white supremacy authoritarian, anti-science ideology that has been latent in Republicans for many years has been brought to the fore and made permanent by Trump and his toadies. Those senators last week were living proof that vaccines work, trump shot em up and they demonstrated their immunity to reality, facts and truth...who said they were against vaccines?


There are ways to combat the realism distortion now going on in Arizona. Follow the money and shine the light of truth upon them. Next issue, I will outline some research methods that any of us can do to publicize their funders. These Arizona legislators at the national and state level are trying to for suppress voting, take away women's control over their own bodies, criminalize morality, stop local efforts for police and justice reform, and enshrine antiscience as legislation. (see below)


Deucy has not dispersed about $300-400 million of the $1.9 billion in CARES money he received months ago. He is talking lowering taxes cause there is a state surplus. There is a state surplus cause he took $400 mil of CARES money and gave it to state agencies and then took the same amount of their budgeted money and put it into the general fund. This is an opportunity for the mayor and council to write the guv and tell him to get off about $1 mil of the CARES dough and send it to Bisbee. Getting Chiricahua clinics Copper Queen hospital, many physicians, Bisbee Unified schools, and business owners to sign onto the letter then doing some local and phoenix publicity around it, might just be the vasoline needed to get some budget balancing dough into Bisbee. Wouldn't cost much and would as a benefit would bring some attention to Bisbee.


Quite a bit going on in Bisbee as noted below. The town is slowly bouncing back from the trump virus spikes in December and January that slowed visitation. Our December and early January occupancy at the Inn were terrible, but late Jan. and early Feb were okedoke. I suspect we'll see a slow increase in visitors as we move into what used to be high season. (speaking of high season, the lines at the Green Pharmacy are going down Naco Hwy.)


I received my second vaccine shot last week, had no side effects. Copper Queen is to be commended for having such an organized efficient shot process. Two lines of cars (shot 1 and shot 2) move quickly to the shot-giver, were directed to a mandatory 15 minute parking area with a note on the windsheild about time of arrival/departure. A wait and then home.


I hope you all felt the valentine love in the air today.


fred



BISBEE

The Bisbee Royale has been sold. I'm unclear who all owners are, but Michael Stefaun is a principal and Michael Page is involved. They plan to renovate the building and bring new music to Bisbee. More plans to be revealed. ............... Bathtub Coffee has finally circled the drain. ................ Cornucopia Cafe will have a new owner(s) the beginning of the month. ................. PETITION FOR DEFINING SEWER LINE OWNERSHIP A petition is being circulated that illuminates a problem with ownership of lateral sewer lines hooked into a main line. You may sign the petition at: Red Shoes Hair, The Parlor Salon and Vape Shop or Poco. (A written petition must be presented to the council and they must hear any petition and take action on it within three regular council meetings.) Problem...The current administration has reclassified lateral sewer lines that service two or more building connections as private sewer connections. Up until then, these lateral lines were included in the city's ownership and responsibility. This reclassification has caused many problems within the city’s collection system, mainly in Old Bisbee where there are numerous types of these laterals. Solution...Solution:Change city code to add a definition to specifically include city ownership of any line that services two or more building/house connections as defined in 13.1 “Definitions”. ............... Getsum burgers has a nice new set up above the Busy Bee parking lot. Making something from nothing the Bisbee way. Haven't tried it yet but will give you a report soon. ............... CIG Art Machine which is capital A-art, in a former cigarette dispensing machine. Put in the dough and get instant art for a giftie, wall, or your own whimsy. In the convention center. The Bisbee Arts Commission splits the spoils with the capital A- arteest. ............... The colorful Bingo Bingaman has an evocative new song/vid out. Hear it/see it here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0eKdpZc4di0&fbclid=IwAR3AoOyj-6xTk_fwhLlNaD9MUvXo4JG7T_8YcECPIn1oHoblFYzVEXswOeU ............... The Jonquil Motel continues to host outdoor events. Go here for a sched: https://www.thejonquil.com/events ............. On the Vedge at 105 Main getting rave reviews from our Inn customers...vegetarian and vegan with small patio. Open Thursday through Monday. ............... Kelley Crittenden will stick needles in you..for healing through acupuncture...not voodoo. A recent move-in to Warren, she has plied her trade for 20 years in Phoenix before moving here. For more information and several services offered in addition to acupuncture go here https://www.groundedacu.com or call her at 602-881-4324. ............... MEET THE PEEPS OF THE HERALD REVIEW Feb 17 6-7:00 Open House Join the Herald/Review staff for an Open House where you can ask questions and be apart of discussions on issues that are most relevant in Cochise County. For the best experience, we suggest using Chrome on a laptop or PC. For technical difficulties or questions, feel free to reach out to Alycia McCloud at alycia.mccloud@myheraldreview.com or 520-559-0845 Go here: https://live.remo.co/e/heraldreview-open-house/register ............... Getting out of the rut...COCHISE COLLEGE LIFELONG LEARNING has many offerings from learning computer skills to baking with a vegetarian chef. Go here for the catalogue: https://www.flipsnack.com/cochisecollegecenter4lifelonglearning/cll-spring-2021-final-schedule/full-view.html ............... GETTING THE VACCINE? A complete list of questions and answers about the vaccine https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2021/well/covid-vaccine-questions.html

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REGULAR COUNCIL MEETING 7:00 FEBRUARY 16, 2021 Due to Covid 19 this meeting will be conducted electronically by Zoom and Facebook. The public can join, listen and view the meeting as follows:

  • City’s Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/COB118Arizona/). A Facebook account is not necessary.

  • Zoom by calling in at 1-346-248-7799 or by the following link https://us02web.zoom.us/j/83600420237 the meeting/webinar ID is 836 0042 0237.

  • The public can submit comments that will be read at the dais by a staff member to publiccomment@bisbeeaz.gov. All comments shall be submitted by no later than Tuesday at noon. Citizens can also be recognized to speak during the meeting only if they sign up ahead of time at the email address above. Please indicate if you are signing up to speak under Call to the Public or a specific item number.

Background here: http://www.bisbeeaz.gov/agendacenter


Of interest: Get your coffee, tea, and sleeping bags a 17 item agenda.

# 3, 4, 5,6 Old Business is stuff that has come to the council previously and is up for a second reading. Am unsure about #5 why it is slated for an ordinance. I suspect it is trying to deal with properties that could be developed but now can't for reasons outlined in the background.

#8 a mid-year assessment of revenue and spending by the treasurer

#9/10 a notice of and approval of a raise in the bed tax, approved by voters. The increase from 2.5% to 5% will be effective March 1.

#11 Another confusing request from the Grand Hotel to extend their premises. As best I can figure they want to add an additional floor thereby expanding their liquor license-so the entire hotel becomes a bar? I guess.

They also have applied to temporarily extend their premises 60' to take parking spots in front of the hotel for serving, much like the Bisbee social club has done. This is a different application and it is unclear whether it has been approved or not.

#12 A homeowner at 502 Powell constructed a car port without a building permit.(and has a few other structures not permitted) The building inspector issued a violation said that it was not in compliance to city building codes which includes fire prevention measures and to cease construction. Several back and forths about the cessation order. This is an appeal to go to the board of adjustment. The appeal will be heard by the council and a decision rendered.

#14 Hearing for a new weekly occurring event fee schedule. This is the result of the farmers market situation and is the city trying to come up with a solution to other than periodic events. Mayor Budge, working with the CM, gets some credit for coming up with this solution.

#15 adopting amendments to the sanitation rates and fee schedule mostly affecting low income households

#16 Closed door Executive session to consider:

  • a claim from Annie Robbins

  • a claim from Mary Alice and Ken Budge

  • instructing the council on negotiations for purchase, sale, or lease of real property

#17 Possible results of that closed door session


AGENDA

INVOCATION: A Moment of Silence

PLEDGE OF ALLEGIANCE

MAYORS PROCLAMATIONS AND ANNOUNCEMENTS:

CALL TO THE PUBLIC

THE FOLLOWING ITEMS WILL BE DISCUSSED, CONSIDERED AND/OR DECIDED UPON AT THIS MEETING:


GENERAL BUSINESS:

1. ACCOUNTS PAYABLE: Subject to availability of fund

2 Approval of the Consent Agenda

  1. Approval of the Minutes of the Regular Session of the Mayor and Council held on February 2, 2021.

  2. Approval of the Resignation of Deborah Phagan from the Evergreen Cemetery Committee.

  3. Approval of the Appointment of Lisa Holland Maddern to the Evergreen Cemetery Committee.


OLD BUSINESS

3. Discussion and Possible Approval of Ordinance O-20-01 to Rezone APN 103-62-489; 60 Main Street Owned by Maria Asaro, from R-1 to CM-2.

Joe Ward, Staff Liaison to the Planning and Zoning Commission

4. Discussion and Possible Approval of Ordinance O-20-02 to Rezone APN 102-15-057; 302 S. Washington Avenue Owned by the City of Bisbee, from C-2 to RM.

Joe Ward, Staff Liaison to the Planning and Zoning Commission

5. Discussion and Possible Approval of Ordinance O-21-03; Amending Article 5.3.2, Special Provisions for the Historic District by adding 5.3.2 (B)(1)(d) Establishing the right to rebuild, utilizing the setbacks of a demolished or burnt structure on the same parcel in the Bisbee Historic District.

Joe Ward, Staff Liaison to the Planning and Zoning Commission

6. Discussion and Possible Approval of Ordinance O-21-05; Accepting the transfer of real property from Southeast Arizona Renovations LLC, located at 1 Cochise Row. Bisbee.

Theresa Coleman, City Manager


NEW BUSINESS

7. Presentation of Personnel Announcements.

Joelle Landers, Personnel Director

8. Presentation and Discussion on the year to date financials for the City.

Keri Bagley, Finance Director

9. Public Hearing on Notice of Intent to Increase Transient Room Tax (Bed Tax) Rate.

Keri Bagley, Finance Director

10. Discussion and Possible Approval of Ordinance O-21-04; An Ordinance of the Mayor and City Council, City of Bisbee, County of Cochise, State of Arizona, Increasing the Transient Room Tax (Bed Tax) from 2.5% to 5.0%.

Keri Bagley, Finance Director

11. Discussion and possible approval of an application for an Extension of Premises/Patio Permit submitted by the Bisbee Grand Hotel & Saloon for Permanent change to their areas of service by adding the adjacent first floor space (2,094 sq.ft.) and upstairs area (4,389 sq.ft.), Kevin Kramber, Applicant.

Ashlee Coronado, City Clerk

12. Discussion and possible approval to go into the Board of Appeals for the Building Code with a Public Hearing to render a decision on appeal BBA01-21 filed by Richard Sanders, property owner of 502 Powell Street and Discussion and possible approval to come out of the Board of Appeals for the Building Code.

Joe Ward, Building Inspector/Code Enforcement

13. Discussion and possible approval to enter into a professional services agreement with Souder, Miller & Associates for the design of drainage and roadway improvements to the Tintown Area.

Jesus Haro, Public Works Director

14. Discussion and possible approval of Resolution R-21-01; Amending Public Works Section; Park and Facility Use of the City Fee Schedule.

Theresa Coleman, City Manager

15. Discussion and possible approval of the Notice of Intent to adopt Ordinance O-21-07; Amending Article 9.1.5 C of the City Code regarding Sanitation Service Rates and Fees.

Theresa Coleman, City Manager

16. Possible approval of a motion to go into Executive Session for the following matters:

  1. An executive session pursuant to A.R.S.§ 38-431.03(A)(4) Discussion or consultation with the attorney of the public body in order to consider its position and instruct its attorneys regarding the public body's position regarding contracts that are the subject of negotiations, in pending or contemplated litigation or in settlement discussions conducted in order to avoid or resolve litigation ON a Notice of Claim from Annie Robbins.

  2. An executive session pursuant to A.R.S.§ 38-431.03(A)(4) Discussion or consultation with the attorney of the public body in order to consider its position and instruct its attorneys regarding the public body's position regarding contracts that are the subject of negotiations, in pending or contemplated litigation or in settlement discussions conducted in order to avoid or resolve litigation ON a Notice of Claim from Kenneth and mary Alice Budge.

  3. An executive session pursuant to A.R.S.§ 38-431.03(A)(7) Discussions or consultations with designated representatives of the public body in order to consider its position and instruct its representatives regarding negotiations for the purchase, sale or lease of real property.

Per ARS § 38-431.03(A4)(A7), the City Council may vote to go into executivesession for Discussion or consultation with the attorneys of the public body in order to consider its position and instruct its attorneys regarding the public body's position regarding contracts that are the subject of negotiations, in pending or contemplated litigation or in settlement discussions conducted in order to avoid or resolve litigation andDiscussions or consultations with designated representatives of the public body in order to consider its position and instruct its representatives regarding negotiations for the purchase, sale or lease of real property.

Joe Estes, City Attorney


17. Discussion and possible action regarding the settlement terms on the Annie Robbins Notice of Claim discussed in Executive Session.

Joe Estes, City Attorney


18. Discussion and possible action regarding the settlement terms on the Kenneth and Mary Alice Budge Notice of Claim discussed in Executive Session.

Joe Estes, City Attorney


19. City Manager's Report:

  • Update on 300 Campbell Street

  • Other Current events (No Discussion)



BISBEE ECONOMY

A budget is simply a guess about the future based on what has happened in the past. Often it hews close to historical norms, but sometimes either income-most often, or unexpected spending, upends projections. That certainly is what is happening to most city, county, state budgets this fiscal year.


For Bisbee,it is a bit past the halfway point in the fiscal year and treasurer Keri Bagley has summed up where we are for actual revenue and spending vs what was budgetedto come in and go out. A point to keep in mind is that this FY21 budget was drawn up in April/May/20. The extent and duration of the trump virus was unforeseen and unknown.


It is not so good, but not in the terrible zone...yet. According to these figures:

Overall spending has outpaced revenue with a projected shortfall of $637,000 at years end.


Revenue from services were overbudgeted and have underperformed. However at least half that figure ($364k) is decreased ambulance fees because of a combo of things...the prior administration cut a deal with Arizona ambulance for them to take more runs, as well as shortage of BFD personnel, aging machines, lower call volume, outstanding unpaid claims-. None of this was budgeted for consequently ambulance fees were grossly overestimated. Fire department inspection fees were waived so the income budgeted is logged as a deficit, $20k. Ambulance subscriptions, a new item, was projected at $90k, but nothing has come in from those subs.


Another chunk, $131k is a projected deficit from sales taxes. Earned interest was down about $32k. And franchise fees are down.


Most departments are on budget for the 6 month period. Some unexpected expenses in treasury have show up however with a treasury audit costing $7k more than budget. Legal services are running a bit higher. Although the police budget is a bit below overall spending, fuel cost have almost exceeded the budget with half the year left ($$18,873 of $20,000). That is attributed to officers living out of town taking their cars home (with permission so they can respond quicker to calls).


The treasurer gave a very rough estimate of expenses and revenue at year end based on monthly averages. She estimated an overall deficit of about -$50k at years end. She will update that as the year progresses.


HOUSE SALES

The one bright spot in the state and local economies is housing. With interest rates below 4%, it’s a seller’s market due to shortages of new and already built homes.

The Phoenix region, now almost million people, has seen a 12% increase in 2020 over the past year with nearly that projected this year with a shortage of available houses. Tucson region, a bit above one million peeps, saw an almost 12% increase. Prices in both areas were about 10-15% above 2019. And new build permits are up substantially. By one estimate sales in Sierra Vista sales were up 13% (could not substantiate this with other data however)

Unless the job market comes roaring back-not likely until 2022, Arizona will be abright spot for speculators and flippers as the number of evictions will increase dramatically once the trump virus restrictions are lifted, federal aid dwindles, and mortgages have to be paid. That’ll put more houses on the market! And more people on the streets…


The Bisbee real estate market is dissimilar to the national and state housing market. For the year 2020 147 houses sold for $22,661.7310,111*. However, in 2019 168 houses sold for 23,578,842**

But comparing Bisbee sales over the last six months of 2020 $15,069,353 with the last six months of 2019 $10,171,416, it is a 33% increase.

The housing market has included two years in succession of monthly double digit sales. Prices are rising, but there are still relatively cheap houses being sold in all parts of town. OB continues to draw higher prices than other districts.


*This includes two properties sold outside of Bisbee for a total $1,000,740 and some $84k of land-only sales

**This includes 11 land-only sales of $239,500


RETAIL SALES

(As always with sales tax data, statistics are for two months prior, in this case, October)

The chart below reflects the difference between the first half of FY 2020 and 1st half of FY2021.

December/20 stats continue to reflect the impact of trump virus with typical ‘tourist’ categories, (hotel/restaurant bar/bed tax) down from the prior month although grocery was up about $3k and retail up about $7k. Internet sales were stable.


For the calendar year:

(Internet tax did not begin until 11/19 so no comparison figures.)

Bed tax down -40% (-$58,327)

2020/$88,319 vs 2019/$146,647

Hotel down -19.3% (-$29,227)

2020/$122,790 vs 2019/$152,017

Rest./Bar -37%

2020/$271,927 vs 2019 $431,416

Retail +20.5%

2020/$1,119,909 vs 2019/$$928,868

Grocery +11.4%

2020/$490,145 vs 2019/$439,072



SOCIAL MEDIA

Facebook and Instagram had slight upticks in likes and followers as well as engagement in December. Instragram had a drastic rise in impressions (The number of times content, whether a post or a story, was shown to users-not necessarily seen. Reach is the number of unique users that saw the Instagram post or story on any given day.)

Discoverbisbee.com had a drop in users but a rise in sessions (A session is a group of user interactions with the website that take place within a given time frame.) Average sessions times on the site dropped a few seconds to 2 minutes 11 seconds. Top referral sites are BzB.com, Qmine.com, and facebook. Newsletter subs jumped a few hundred and is now at 7180 with about a 10% open rate.

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POLITICS


From an anonymous source talking about the legal impeachment strategy of trump..."Yet, Republicans still whine and moan and outright lie. I'm reminded that Abraham Lincoln, responding to a weak pro-slavery argument from Stephen Douglas in a debate, once said, "(That) is as thin as a homeopathic soup that was made by boiling the shadow of a pigeon that starved to death.""

The Basics of Budget Preparation in Arizona During COVID-19 When: Wednesday, February 24 Location: Zoom virtual Time 9:30 a.m. – 3:00 p.m. (this includes a break for lunch) Budgets are the annual financial plan that a city or town uses to deliver services to its citizens for each fiscal year. It sets the framework for the implementation of the services and is one of the most important processes a city or town undergoes each year. This session will cover how a budget is developed with revenue and expenditure projections, the impact COVID-19 has had on budgets and how it can be effectively communicated to elected officials, staff and citizens. Who: Pat Walker, Principal Owner, Pat Walker Consulting Cost: $40 Registration: To register for the Budget training, please click here. Link to Zoom webinar will be sent to all attendees two days before the event. For questions on any of these trainings, please call 602-258-5786 or email league@azleague.org. ............ FOLLOWING THE LEGISLATURE They're taking aim at voting access, women's rights, public schools, environmental protections, and more. The news is bad in nearly every category of bills. This isn't politics—it's life. The Legislature oversees how much money our schools will have, your access to health care, whether you can vote conveniently, whether broadband can expand to rural areas, and so much more. Although there are some ugly thoughts behind some bills, like one submitted that reclassifies an ectopic pregnancy as homicide! the majority at our state legislature will continue to remain laser-focused on voter suppression, stripping away public education, starving government services through tax breaks to the wealthy, and anything they can find to do that will help them hold onto any power they can. Bills on these topics are the ones that will move — and that makes them the ones to watch. This newsletter will keep you informed of the most important bills to oppose or support. You can also sign up for Right to Speak to voice your opinion on any bill under consideration. Go here for more info and to sign up: https://us15.list-manage.com/subscribe?u=c060f172658106bd0be87b72b&id=eb5ea9b499 THIS WEEK AT THE LEGE Go here for this informative newsletter https://docs.google.com/document/d/1kC5XcEqjcbW9yV7GTVgi9qqhkOuQ5sS9zBO02f0ohcM/edit or here for the twitter feed: https://twitter.com/i/topics/news/e-63986058?cn=ZmxleGlibGVfcmVjcw%3D%3D&refsrc=email These bills are headed for a vote of the full House or Senate. You cannot use RTS here. Contact your senator for Senate bills (SB) and your representatives for House bills (HB). Oppose.....SB1452, sponsored by Paul Boyer (R-20), would expand ESA vouchers to two-thirds of Arizona kids all at the expense of public education. Hold you nose and call Senator Gowan to oppose it. A few of the many odious bills, some of which are part of a 'package' of bills submitted to deter voters, suppress voter handcuff cities so they can't make changes in police budgets or policing, draconian oversight provisions aimed at stopping any abortions. Many of these are being considered in committees, you can use the Right to Speak for the following: oppose...SB1613, sponsored by Kelly Townsend (R-16), requires all election results to remain in the US and not be transferred or stored to any other country, Conspiracy stuff here. oppose....SB1793, sponsored by David Gowan (R-14), requires, rather than permits, the secretary of state to compare the records of deaths with the statewide voter registration database and purge deceased voters. more voter suppression oppose....HB2309, sponsored by Bret Roberts (R-11), would bar anyone who participates in a riot or unlawful assembly from ever working for the state or obtaining scholarships or welfare benefits. demostration suppression oppose...SB1713, sponsored by JD Mesnard (R-17), requires voters to send their early ballots back with proof of their eligibility to vote: an early ballot affidavit with their date of birth and a copy of their ID. more voter suppression oppose....SB1456, sponsored by Nancy Barto (R-15), adds further roadblocks to keeping students from receiving age-appropriate and scientifically accurate sex education. Keep em barefooted and pregnant... oppose...HB2770, sponsored by Joseph Chaplik (R-23), exempts businesses from enforcing mask mandates. oppose....SB1109, sponsored by JD Mesnard (R-17), nullifies the Prop 208 tax increase, and chains individual income tax rates to state growth so that they can never increase, starting in 2022 oppose...SB1362, sponsored by Wendy Rogers (R-6), would add medical students to the list of providers who can refuse to assist with abortion-related services. oppose....HB2060, sponsored by John M. Fillmore (R-16), requires students in grades K-4 to recite the Pledge of Allegiance unless excused by a parent. oppose....HB2308, sponsored by John Kavanagh (R-23), would make it vastly more difficult to circulate recall petitions, mirroring “strict compliance” restrictions already in place for initiatives and referendums in which a single technical violation can disqualify an entire petition campaign. oppose...HB2792, sponsored by Jake Hoffman (R-12), would make it a class 5 felony to send you a ballot if you didn't explicitly request one. oppose. HCR2016, sponsored by Tim Dunn (R-13), would ask voters to change the Constitution to require that any ballot measure (citizen initiatives, referendums, and constitutional amendments) get 60% of the vote to pass. More voter suppression oppose...SB1381, sponsored by Wendy Rogers (R-6), would ban ending a pregnancy on the basis of any disability in the fetus, even one incompatible with life. fuckin meddlin in family decisions. oppose...SB1457, sponsored by Nancy Barto (R-15), is a multi-pronged attack on the rights and agency of women. It would give "unborn children at every stage of development" the same rights as an actual person, possibly violating the Constitution. support...SB1650, sponsored by David Livingston (R-22), would raise the statewide gas tax by 1 cent annually for 20 years and indexes the tax to annual inflation. support..HB2805, sponsored by David Cook (R-8), would increase unemployment compensation to $300 a week beginning in 2022, paid for by slightly raising the taxable wage base to $8,000. support.SB1102, sponsored by Victoria Steele (D-9), would create a two-year pilot program to help create infrastructure for electric vehicle ready homes and charging stations. Scheduled for Senate Government Committee, Monday. &&&&&&&&&& MUST READS/RESPONDS FOR THOSE CONCERNED WITH PUBLIC EDUCATION

THE ROOTS OF SCHOOL VOUCHERS The history of AZ school vouchers... https://www.sosaznetwork.org/save-our-schools-arizona-network-blog/?emci=07f62c46-3666-eb11-9889-00155d43c992&emdi=04ac5080-4566-eb11-9889-00155d43c992&ceid=1101498 A SHORT VID ABOUT VOUCHERS https://twitter.com/AZCEBVus/status/1357395571439329281?cn=ZmxleGlibGVfcmVjcw%3D%3D&refsrc=email .................... Well, this is the straw that broke the camel's back, people in the Trump administration were bad tippers! Isn't that surprising from these parsimonious and emotionally shriveled people? I mean really! https://slate.com/news-and-politics/2021/02/trump-administration-tippers-fine-dining-dc.html ()()()()()()()()()()

GROANERS
  • John Travolta tested negative for coronavirus last night. Turns out it was just Saturday night fever.

  • The World Health Organization has announced that dogs cannot contract Covid-19. Dogs previously held in quarantine can now be released. To be clear, WHO let the dogs out.

  • I saw an ad for burial plots, and thought to myself that's the last thing I need.

  • Relationships are a lot like algebra. Have you ever looked at your X and wondered Y?

  • A courtroom artist was arrested today for an unknown reason...details are sketchy.

  • People are making end of the world jokes like there's no tomorrow.

  • Whatever you do, always give 100% unless you're donating blood.

  • I've always had an irrational fear of speed bumps but I'm slowly getting over it

  • What word becomes shorter when you add two letters to it? Shor

  • If you're not supposed to eat at night, why is there a light bulb in the refrigerator?

  • My dad died when we couldn't remember his blood type. As he died, he kept insisting "be positive," but it's hard without him.

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