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BISBEE WIRE #56/Around Town/Economy/Anniversaries/News be Gone/More Neologisms/Houses Sold

editor: fred miller July 2, 2023 Wire #56/June 2023


The incessant blaring about Freedom that accompanies celebration of the nation's anniversary of independence is often so deafening that we tend to blot out and forget that Freedom is really about having choices to make. Our country was founded on fighting against authority and restriction. Our history is replete with examples of rising against authoritarians. And once again there are authoritarians looking backward to impose a restrictive society on us. They want to remove the choices we might want to make whether it be who we love and marry, what we read, where we go, how we vote, accessing reproductive services, and the many other large and small choices that comprise the decisions to fully live our lives safe and free from fear. That is the fundamental divide in our country; Restriction or Freedom. Like many before us, we bear the responsibility to defeat dominance in its many forms. We do this not by staying silent, uninvolved, ignoring the offensive offensive now going on in our county, state, and nation, but by becoming engaged at whatever level we can, to challenge those who would take away our Freedom. And since it is an anniversary, I'll mention that I forgot the 9 year anniversary of the Bisbee Wire at the beginning of this year. I began it in 2014 in an effort to bring more economic news to residents. I've been fairly successful, with my mailing list now more than 800. I suspect it would be much less if it were paid subs though. I'm mulling over a few changes, maybe adding an occasional other voice to your eyes. And maybe changing the format just a bit. And maybe not. Takes some work and I dunno if I want to put in the extra effort. That's the good thing about something that I'm the only responsible one. Will keep you apprised on what is or isn't going on. As always, pass this on to those you think might be interested or send them to the website. Myself and a co-author wrote an article, It Isn't Chump Change, about the sketchy hiring and the overpayment of the elections director. And how we have been stonewalled by County administrators in trying to get basic information about the hiring. We question who is in charge as well as pointing out the people who have not responded and are up for election. You can find it in the Sunday paper or online edition of the Herald Review-it might be paywalled, or at

If you haven't been to Dot's Diner/Shady Dell lately, it is worth checking out. We were there Friday night, along with 100 or so of Bisbee's finest, listening to the truly excellent Bisbee Rhythm Review. The outdoor venue has been redone with a music stage further on from the diner and dining area. A dancing area, full of folks when we were there, in front of the stage, and a 3-sided drink/elbow rest, wraps around a covered ramada with several tables. A cute lil bar in a trailer is on one side where manager Jen Garland makes the drinkies with the able help of a couple of young women. There is plenty of room to roam around. Justin Luria and Claire Harlin have constructed a nice scene to hear some music, get a drinkie, and have some good food. They have invested their time, energy, and dough to make Bisbee a better place to be; knock em a greet and thanks when you see them.

The music and event scene is ably and thoroughly chronicled weekly by Steve Moramarco. This is his one year anniversary of doing the TWIB (This Week in Bisbee) here: Signup form: and if you got some extra coin, send it to him, TWIB is a lot of work. He is also a musician playing "punk Americana' and a songwriter as well as helping others write songs

And the Hitching Post in Warren is celebrating their first year of business. They have become a local bar with events seven nights a week. They are also supporters of many local musicians. Give em a viz. h

Before embarking on the daunting task of reading below, you might want to give a listen to this lil ditty, it'll put a spring in your step and a song in your head. (thanks to astute reader AM for making our day)

You gotta beware of those loose cattle on our streets and roads because they may turn out to be.....COWS WITH GUNS. (There is a steak pun. Well done. That's rare )


...............BISBEE STUFF................

THE 4TH OF JULY PARADE!!! 8 am Coaster Races OB 10 am water slides Vista Park 11am Parade down Bisbee Rd and up Arizona St. Noonish Mucking and Drilling contest OB Vintage Baseball Warren Ball Park 1:00, 2:30, 4:00 Fireworks 9 pm ish

Sign up here: ......... COUNCIL MEETING 7:00 WEDNESDAY JULY 5 915 TOVREAVILLE RD background here: Of interest: 1. How your dough is being spent 3. Jane Borger's two petitions about the naming problem of West Blvd/Tombstone Canyon that may result in emergency services confusion. And an issue with speeding along the confused named street. 5. Intergovernmenatl agreement about a SWAT team 6. If you live in OB, you should read this. Special event permit for 5 years twix the City and Wick Communication as the promoter and sponsor of the Bisbee 1000. This agreement was to be heard by the counmcil several months ago but was pulled from the agenda. The major change would be that Bisbee Vogue would no longer be the promoter and operator. Basically Wick would be taking over all operations. They would be given priority for the 3rd week in October over any other events. The city would not issue other permits during this time. Wick would pay for all permits necessary. The promoter would organize, run, and manage the Bisbee 1000 and ensure that there are minimal disruptions to the City.There is language about the installation and removal of equipment within time periods and ensures compliance with local regs. And there is language about access to routes, parking, etc. 7 . Discussion for putting out a bid for a contractor for new city hall <><><> TALKING WATER IN DOUGLAS In 2022, southeastern Arizona voters approved making an area known as the Douglas Basin into an Active Management Area, adding a new set of rules for water use in the area. Arizona Public Media the Buzz’s live event July 10 5:30-7:00, will take a look at the past, present and future of water use within the new AMAs boundaries, and ask if such steps can help the area save its water future. This event is free, but registration is required. Reserve your seat at ............... Water Wise; Wonders of Monsoon Season July 23, 12:30 Kafka Coffee House 31 Subway ......... PIRATES WEEKEND IS COMING August 11, 12, 13 Parade! Circus! Mermaids! Treasure Hunt! and moooore. Go here for info: ......... PEOPLE MOVER Leeza Alderson has a people transport service. She is at 520-366-6909. Call her and she may be able to take your bod from one place to another. ...........Bisbee Community Community Chorus Artistic Director and Accompanist Wanted The fabuloso Charles Bethea is laying down the baton. The knowledgeable and talented director is leaving the Chorus, but not town..... Sooo the Bisbee Community Chorus is inviting applicants for the 2023-2024 season for their no-audition chorus. The position is part-time, involving evening rehearsals and weekend concerts. Prior experience directing choral music is required. Please contact Anne Moats at


Sparklight has a foundation that awards grants. Out of 24 grants awarded this year, there were none to Arizona groups. If you want to apply for your group go here:



Freeport-McMoRan is pleased to partner with Local First Arizona and the Rural Development Council again this year for the 16th Annual Rural Policy Forum Aug 2-4th in Globe-Miami. This scholarship includes the cost of registration and the Forum’s evening events on Wednesday and Thursday. All other expenses are the responsibility of the attendee. If you are interested in attending, please complete the information on this Form and we will be back in touch with you on registration information once we finalize scholarship recipients.


ADOT ROAD CONSTRUCTION THIS SUMMER ......... THE LIBRARY HAS NEW BOOKS ON THE SOUTHWEST The Copper Queen Library has a new collection of Southwest books, thanks to The Bisbee Foundation and the Karen Justice Endowment. The books highlight the amazing and unique flora and fauna of our desert home, including plants, insects, mammals, reptiles and amphibians. The plant and animal life of Arizona is as varied as its scenery and climate. It has many species found in many other places, and many that are found only in Arizona and a few other places. Come check it out! ............


SMOOTHIE? The Grass Stop smoothie bar is a new business in Old Bisbee, on 4 Shearer Ave.(steps up from Redbone)


...............BISBEE ECONOMY................


It is the Transaction Privilege Taxes/TPT in AZ. This is tax money that all businesses collect, make a report, and send to the Dept. of Revenue. There is a lag time between the month when the actual purchases took place, the next month of submission of money and forms by businesses to the ADOR, and then the second month for tabulation by the department and release of figures. The figures are for taxes on actual purchases two months prior to the date. There is some hazard about comparing month to month simply because sometimes businesses are late paying taxes and when they do, it is tabulated in the next month.

Since these stats were from actual sales in March, traditionally the busiest month of the year, it is a bit puzzling. Bed taxes were the the second highest in 10 months but down about $3k from February which had three fewer days, also Restaurant/Bar taxes were down about $6k from last month. However Retail sales taxes were almost $130,000, about $20k more than last month and the largest since I've been tracking them the past four years. Groceries for home use were down about $10,000 from the prior month although that was an abnormally high month. Internet sales fluctuate between $18k and $25k for the past year.


Sales of house remain sluggish compared the past years. Single digits sales since September of 2022 save for April.There are still some houses selling for under $100k, but few. In May of 2022, there were 21 houses sold, May of 2023 there were nine.

If Bisbee follows national trends, house prices will begin to dip a bit reflecting some raw materials decreasing in price. However that is somewhat offset by mortgage rates for a 30 year fixed remain stubbornly high at 6.8-7.2%. It would be interesting to see if buyers in Bisbee are paying cash or taking out mortgages.

These homes sold last month.

33 1/2 OLD DOUGLAS RD $89k/$65k

511 SANTA CRUZ DR $169,000

3300 W RED MOUNTAIN RD $225k/$218k

309 Clawson ST $235k/$236k

416 DOUGLAS ST $234k/$237k

696 E Mulberry LN $329k/$320k

304 A Curve ST $365k/$340k

1615 W WEST BLVD $367k/$395k

160 QUALITY HILL RD $575k/$560k


Remodeling continues unabated with 40 residential permits totaling $683,000 were taken out in May. The second highest amount in several years. Commercial permits, 11, were the most in a year although the total of work done was only $138k. Scattered reports of people wanting work done, but unable to get on contractor schedules for several months.


Bella Burkhart Realty LLC

Isabella Burkhart

840 Sims Rd Oak Thicket Ranch James Cleveland 200 Arizona St. Cazador Welding and Fabrication Victor Valenzuela 117 Vista Dr.

THE CHANGING FACE OF NEWS I have previously written a bit on the rapidity of the change in how news is being delivered to us. Traditional newspaper outlets are downsizing. Hard copies are way down and digital is way up. Remaining reporters are being asked to cover more and more with less and less. And younger readers have grown up with digital and likely are not going back. If you want a deep dive, and an overview, this thorough report from Reuters is about the best around for a thorough understanding on digital news, news avoidance, less direct news consumption, and the rise of social networks.. "We look in more detail what is behind low engagement and selective news avoidance – and we explore public appetites for approaches that might combat this. More specifically, we look at the sources people use to inform themselves about their personal finances and the extent to which different groups find this type of information easy or difficult to understand." In Arizona there is an interesting experiment going on. The Arizona Agenda was begun by two seasoned reporters a couple of years ago. Since that time their Substack (an outlet that hosts a large number of enewsletters) presence has grown substantially enabling the two initiators to make a living wage. They have decided to launch the Tucson Agenda because they want to see if they could, "... stitch together several tiny newsrooms laser-focused on their communities — be that the Arizona political community, a community focused on a single issue like water, or a community as in city or town — to create a new kind of employee-owned profit/resource/revenue-sharing newsroom that has a statewide impact and reach?" It is an interesting concept and clearly an experiment that depends on readers to finance it. Just like hard copy papers do. Read more about it here: Substack is where many writers and reporters are going. There are a bunch of writers and enewsletters to pick from. Most are kinda free but ask you to subscribe. You can read about it here: And although I ran this before about various enewsletter sources here it is again: This Week in Bisbee The music and event calendar SAEDG's Cochise County economic News Citizen Engagement Beyond Voting all about legislative and legislators and schools Arizona Agenda ( political news in AZ Arizona Mirror Arizona pollitics Popular Information ( investigative for political news nationally The Liberal Patriot common sense political theory Daily Kos leftie news aggregator The Intercept investigative nationally/Internationally Big about the politics of monopoly power Markup investigates how powerful institutions are using technology to change our society. Arizona Right Watch Just what it say Consumer World a weird lil website with lotsa good consumer stuff like shrinking packaging.
...............ELECTION RELATED POLITICS................

REPUBLICANS ARE SO GOOD AT SPENDING YOUR MONEY We got a lot of repugnicans rooting around in our taxpayer pockets at both the county and state levels. For instance...How would you like to get $119 a day for not showing up to work? That is what rural Arizona legislators get while on a vacation from law making. Given that the republican legislature refuses to adjourn, that pay will continue to accumulate, so every rural lawmaker will have gotten $5593 by early August when they are supposed to go back from their paid vacation. And the session-longest ever-has no end date. This long vacay was preceded by a four week vacay in May/June. Your legislators for District 21 includes: reps Consuelo Hernandez (d), Stephanie Shahl Hamilton (d), and senator Rosa Gabaldon. For District 19 (the rest of Cochise County) reps Lupe Diaz (r) and Gail Griffin (r), and senator David Gowan (r). This has been one of the most partisan and do-nothing legislative sessions and now those same do-nothings are on vacation while we pay the bills. WTF? ....... And here in Cochise County Recorder David Stevens thought that Bob Bartlesmeyer was so good for the position of Elections Director he hired him and gave him $95,000 which was an extra $4000 over the advertised $80,000-$91,115. He also gave him $10,000 relocation money. Even though Bartlesmeyer had huge gaps in employment, incorrect leaving date for one job in NM, no college degree as required, and would not give permission to contact past employers. ....... Pinal County is the latest to lose an elections director. Cochise and Yavapai have also had ED's quit. All have cited the hostile atmosphere created by electiond eniers as well as officials not publicaly supporting them. An excerpt from Pinal's Geraldine Roll from her quit (not resignation) letter: “...With no regrets, I quit. In my career, I have never been subject to the ridicule, disrespect, intimidation and attacks on my reputation and ethics that I have endured in these past months,” Roll said in an email to Pinal County Manager Leo Lew. “I cannot work for an individual who does not support me. The environment fostered by your team and the Board of Supervisors is toxic.....Elections Department should not be political, yet he tolerates irrational, extremist political party views and rhetoric. It is a far reach to see how you will deliver clean elections when you bend to a faction of the Republican party.” ............ ATTACK ON VOTER ROLLS (sent by astute reader JD) The continued attack on the broad range of election protection continues unabated. In Arizona there were many bills trying to make voting more stringent; diddling with the process, hand counting, voter restrictions and more. Most of these were vetoed by the Gov. But there are sustained attacks on democratic norms for elections. They will not let up. This is one on the national level that is being tried.

and here: ........... Election restriction legislation in AZ. There have been many bills introduced in Arizona (probably more than 100) and many other states that tinker with the election system, the mechanics of voting, voter intimidation and more. They fall in several categories but all are aimed at undermining the election process and making it more difficult to vote. Usurping control over election results. These bills would give legislators or other state officials direct control over election outcomes. Requiring partisan or unprofessional election “audits” or reviews. Extending a pattern from 2021 and 2022, legislators are considering amorphous post-election review schemes outside the professional standards of traditional post-election audits. Seizing power over election responsibilities. These bills would shift election administration responsibilities away from professional, nonpartisan officials and toward partisan actors in the legislature. I Creating unworkable burdens in election administration. These bills would interfere with the basic procedures of election administration, increasing the risk of chaos and delay and enabling specious claims of irregularity that could be a pretext for subversion Imposing disproportionate criminal or other penalties. These bills would create or expand penalties for election officials in the ordinary execution of their jobs, including criminalizing inadvertent mistakes. ..........

AZ Supreme Delivers Support for Compensation for Petition Gathers A win here for insurgent issue campaigns that said although petitioners cannot be paid for each signature, they are entitled to compensation in some form for doing a good job registering people. .......... SUPREMES SHOOT DOWN EXTREME ELECTION CLAUSE In the wake of Trump's defeat, ultra right lawyers pushed a legal theory of the Independent State Legislature. It is based on a hyper-literal interpretation of the Elections Clause of the Constitution Advocates of the independent state legislature theory argue that this means that, apart from Congress, the state legislature has absolute power over the administration of elections. This power, according to the theory, cannot be constrained by state constitutions or state courts. In essence, the state legislatures have absolute power over the administration of elections. The results of this ruling would be immediate. "In all, there are 28 election law cases in 19 states that will now be able to proceed. These cases "challenge either congressional maps or state voting laws under their state laws or state constitutions." Info from: .......... NO LABELS SUCKS Challenge to the two parties? Not according to this. Backed by repub dough? Yes.



Yep it is hot, but going to Tucson and staying at a resort is pretty cool. I was going to write about summer deals at resorts, but when I began checking, not so much. Gone are the days of $100 rooms at most of the larger resorts, Star Pass, Westward Look, La Paloma, Lowes Ventana, El Conquistador. They now have rooms starting at $175 and up plus a resort fee of at least $25 and taxes.That is for July and August. Price begin to increase in September.

However if you do some searching and use the booking engines of Kayak, Expedia, et al, you likely can find a cheaper rate than these depending on your dates. If you find a cheaper rate, call the actual place and see if they will match it, better to book with the establishment than the booking engines when possible because there is less chance of a screw up.

And I suggest that you join (this goes for any traveling you might do) all hotel chains as a member. Doesn't cost anything, really don't get a lot of junk mail, and it is worth it to save a few bucks, sometimes a lot, and get a few perks when traveling.

However some deals in Tucson can be found. All prices below are based on my search of July & August mid week, no weekends.

Lodge at Ventana Canyon rooms range from $125-$200 depending on date/day/month.

***This is our favorite, rooms are spacious-350 sq ft. and because it is member owned, the restaurant is decent and inexpensive for breakie and dinner, and they have the best amenities with steam, sauna, showers, whirlpool, two pools. Also available are facials, manis, pedis, massage, two golf courses., tennis courts. Beautiful setting far Northeast.

Lodge on the desert range from $125-$200 depending on date/day/month.

Casino del Sol rooms range from $130 up.

La Posada Rooms and Casitas range from $95 on up. If you stay here get a lil casita in the back, it is much better for a few bucks more. If you do get a room ask for one facing the courtyard.

RESTAURANTS A couple new restaurant to try out...One is Flower Child 2960 N. Campbell, that we liked a lot. And their sister restaurant Doughbird-rotisserie chicken and pizza next door, that we have not tried. More new restaurants here and sign up for their newsletter if you go to Tucson regularly: Also Tucson Foodie has comprehensive info on the food scene Many restaurants take breaks or change their hours to get through the slow summer just a little more comfortably. Here are the breaks we've found so far:

  • Barista del Barrio — Barista del Barrio will be closed Aug 16-24.

  • Blue Willow– 2616 N. Campbell Ave., and is open 8 a.m. - 3 p.m. on Sunday - Tuesday and 8 a.m. - 8 p.m. on Wednesday - Saturday. For more information, visit

  • Café à La C'Art will be open 10 a.m. - 2 p.m. on Wednesday - Friday, 8 a.m. - 2 p.m. on Saturday - Sunday, and closed Monday - Tuesday.

  • Ceres — Ceres is closed until June 21, when they’ll reopen for dinner and gelato service 5-9 p.m. Wednesday-Saturday.

  • The Coronet — The Coronet and its sister establishments Coronet Cafe and Nightjar will close on June 29. Both the cafe and Nightjar will reopen on July 6, but the fine-dining Coronet will remain closed until the end of August. In the meantime, the menu at the cafe will expand to include some of The Coronet’s dishes.

  • The Dutch — Summer hours at The Dutch are 3-9 p.m. Monday-Saturday.

  • Exo Roast Co. on Simpson — Exo’s location on Simpson Street is closing June 11-22. When they’re open, the summer hours are 7 a.m. to 1 p.m. The Sixth Avenue location will remain open 7 a.m. to 5 p.m. daily.

  • Ikkyu — Ikkyu is currently closed, set to reopen on June 26.

  • Indian Oven — Indian Oven is currently closed until July 5.

  • Kingfisher — The seafood restaurant will close for summer break July 2-16.

  • LaCo — LaCo will be closing for the summer season on June 19 and reopening in early September.

  • Maynards — Maynards is currently closed for summer break and will reopen on June 15.

  • Mi Nidito — Mi Nidito is closed for summer vacation now through June 14.

  • Penelope Wood Fired Pizza — Penelope has new hours for summer: 3-9 p.m. Wednesday-Friday, 11 a.m. to 8 p.m. Saturday-Sunday.

  • Perche’ No — Summer hours at Perche’ No are 11:30 a.m. to 2 p.m. and 5-9 p.m. Tuesday-Saturday.

  • Polish Cottage — Polish Cottage will not close this summer and is instead adjusting their hours to 11 a.m. to 8 p.m. Tuesday-Sunday.

  • Presta Coffee Roasters — The First Avenue and Ninth Street locations will be open 7 a.m. to 2 p.m. this summer. The Presta location in the Mercado San Agustin will be open 7 a.m. to 4 p.m.

  • Village Bakehouse — Village Bakehouse will close from July 3-17.

  • Viro’s Italian Bakery — Viro’s will be closed from July 11 to Aug. 1.


Too get you in the mood for this section, take a listen to this 1967 Tom Lehrer ditty:


Male Southern Baptists now have more room to dance on the head of a pin since they booted off women. Yep women can no longer be pastors. It was a declaration now and that needs a vote in a year. A takeover by the ultra right misogynists has come about because of a drift from 'bibilical truth', hah! In reality there is substantial worry about declining numbers of church goers as well as the broader cultural changes that are challengin their world view.



Eric Ridenour would be right at home in some Southern Baptist congregations. According to an article in the Arizona Star, he had expressed opinions against women and gay people serving in roles of authority. He was asked to leave one church in Bisbee.





The results of Bipartisan Infrastructure Law of 2021 continue to trickle out to the states. (Why the Biden admin is not trumpeting the economic effects of this law and the Inflation Adjustment Act is beyond me. It is two of the most important components of a different industrial policy and affects all 50 states.) Arizona will get just under $1 billion in federal funding for high-speed internet access improvement. Arizona is developing a five-year plan with input from Arizona internet service providers, local governments, county supervisors and tribal officials. The dough will be administered by the AZ Commerce Authority.



This thoughtful article about AI is helpful in discerning the use, misuse, and limitations of AI.

"One of the things that many people don’t realize about large language models (LLMs) is that they are frozen in time. We think about AI as being so flexible, and we talk about AI learning from interactions, but actually an AI’s ability to “learn” is more limited than a human’s. When you make a machine learning system (like an LLM), you take a whole bunch of data (often this “training data” is scraped from the internet), you feed it into the computer and instruct the computer to make a model. The model shows the mathematical patterns in the data. Then, you can use that model to generate new language or generate new images or make decisions or make predictions. That’s how every large language model works.

You have to decide on an endpoint for your training data. The current free iteration of ChatGPT, to the best of my knowledge, ends in September 2021." Go here for the article: <><>HOW YOUR INTERNET ATTENTION IS AUCTIONED TO ADVERTISERS There are many companies, as well as the federal government policing agencies, that want your eyes and your data. This very clear explanation is about how it is done for advertising. Blink your eyes and your data is scraped, sold, and repackaged. Medical buys tracked And This article from the same website details how your purchases at pharmacies are sent to ad giants facebook, google, meta, and others for ad targeting bout your medical buys. You bet your sweet bippy almost everything you do is tracked! Companies that collect your personal information while you do pretty much anything in your life—whether you are... Driving in your car: Standing in line to vote: Shopping at the market: Where your kids are:

...............EVERYTHING ELSE................


A breakdown of the proposed deal between PGA and LIV golf.Widely considered an effort by the Saudis to whitewash it's human rights violations through sports, it is under consideration and seems that the deal is falling apart. This vid breaks down the issues.



Rank, company, industry, headquarters

163. Avnet, electronic-parts distribution, Phoenix

171. Freeport-McMoRan, copper/gold mining, Phoenix

247. Reliance Steel & Aluminum, metals processing, Scottsdale

266. Opendoor Technologies, online home purchases/sales, Tempe

308. Carvana, online used-vehicle sales, Tempe

309. Republic Services, trash collection/recycling, Phoenix

379. Insight Enterprises, information technology, Chandler

454. On Semiconductor, semiconductor manufacturing, Scottsdale

457. Taylor Morrison Home, homebuilding, Scottsdale

490. Knight-Swift Transportation, trucking, Phoenix

In terms of stock-market capitalization, or worth, for example, Arizona’s current leader is Freeport-McMoRan, which has a stock-market value of about $57 billion. Next up are Microchip Technology ($47 billion), Republic Services ($46 billion), On Semiconductor ($39 billion) and Align Technology in dental devices ($25 billion).



If you are interested in birds, from the morning doves that wake me up at 4:30 every morning to the lil Hummingbirds supping from our feeders, you can learn about birds around us at the Cornell Bird Academy /

They also have a useful app for your phone for visual and auditory ID.



"Food product dating, as the U.S. Department of Agriculture calls it, is completely voluntary for all products-with the exception of baby food. Not only that, but it has nothing to do with safety. It acts solely as the manufacturer’s best guess as to when its product will no longer be at peak quality, whatever that means."

............... WORD...............

For Word Geeks...The font used for reading is important. Depending on serif or sans serif, height, and more, your reading time and 'tiredness' can vary widely. What is your font? This article in the Post has some interesting quick reading experiments. <><> More Neologisms... in which a real word has been changed by one letter, often paired with another to give new meanings to existing words. Contratemps: the resentment permanent workers feel toward the fill-in workers. Coiterie: a very very close-knit group. Whitetater: a political hot potato. Impotience: eager anticipation by men awaiting their Viagra prescription. Elepants: too-tight jeans on broad-beamed people. Lollapalooka: someone who has taken one too many turns in the mosh pit. Auto-da-feh: the extermination of heretics via drowning in a vat of pus. Stupfather: Woody Allen. Reintarnation: coming back to life as a hillbilly. DIOS: the one true operating system. Inoculatte: to take coffee intravenously when you are running late. Thripp: a bug. Hipatitis: terminal coolness. Writer's tramp: a woman who practices poetic licentiousness. Goodzilla: a giant lizard that puts out forest fires by stamping on them. Taterfamilias: the head of the Potato Head family. Guillozine: a magazine for executioners. Osteopornosis: a degenerate disease. Adulatery: cheating on one's wife with a much younger woman who holds you in awe. Suckotash: a dish consisting of corn, lima beans and tofu. Emasculathe: a tool for castration. Sata: a mythical being who brings toys to bad children. Burglesque: a poorly planned break-in. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like a serious bummer. Genitaliar: an image-enhancing object that can be carried in a man's front pocket. Glibido: all talk and no action. Antifun gal: a prude. Vaseball: a game of catch played by children in the living room. Eunouch: the pain of castration. Hindkerchief: really expensive toilet paper; toilet paper at Buckingham Palace. Deifenestration: to throw all talk of God out the window. Hozone: the area around 42nd Street. Acme: a generic skin disease. Dopeler effect: the tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly. Hindprint: indentation made by a couch potato. Intaxication: euphoria at getting a refund from the IRS, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with. Nazigator: an overbearing member of your carpool. Synapple: a perfect beverage to accompany brain food. Socceur: the proper spelling of the sport for the next four years, alas. <><> from alert reader RC some engineer observations... and my own two neologisms

Enginear: stuck in a car on a rail crossing and

Enginear: the sound of tinnitus. Understanding Engineers 1 Two engineering students were riding bicycles across a university campus when one said, "Where did you get the great bike?" The second one replied, "Well, I was walking yesterday, minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes, and said, ’Take what you want.’" The first one nodded approvingly and said, "Good choice: The clothes probably wouldn't have fit you. Understanding Engineers 2 To the optimist, the glass is half-full. To the pessimist, the glass is half-empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be. Understanding Engineers 3 A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, "What's with those guys? We've been waiting for fifteen minutes!" The doctor chimed in, "I don't think I've ever seen such inept golf!" The priest said, "Here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a word with him." He said, "Hello George, What's wrong with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?" The green keeper replied, "Oh, yes. That's a group of blind firemen. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime!" The group fell silent for a moment. The priest said, "That's so sad. I'll say a special prayer for them tonight." The doctor said, "Good idea. I'll contact my ophthalmologist colleague and see if there's anything she can do for them." The engineer said, "Why can't they play at night?" Understanding Engineers 4 What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers? Mechanical engineers build weapons. Civil engineers build targets. Understanding Engineers 5 The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?" The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" The graduate with a Commerce degree asks, "How much will it cost?" The graduate with an Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?" Understanding Engineers 6 Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it isn't sufficiently complex yet. And Finally Two engineers were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking at its top. A lady surveyor walked by and asked what they were doing. "We're supposed to find the height of this flagpole," said Steve, "but we don't have a ladder." The woman took pliers from her purse, loosened a couple of bolts, and laid the pole down on the ground. Then she took a tape measure from her purse, took a measurement, announced, "6.5 metres.", and walked away. One engineer shook his head and laughed, "A lot of good that does us. We ask for the height and she gives us the length!" Both engineers have since quit their engineering jobs and have been elected to congress.

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