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BISBEE WIRE #87






February 4, 2025     #87/February 2025

Hello,



An introductory note to new readers...Welcome, and thanks for subscribing. You are part of the 950+ subscribers I now have.


I put out two issues a month generally, occasionally one or three. The second one of the month tends to be more economic stuff with an emphasis on Bisbee. Usually the Wire is long because there is a firehose of information 24/7 and my interest are broad. I try to steer readers to sites that are informative and factual. Often there will be a rant about something or other to get it out of my head . (see below) I don't like trump policies and will ridicule them, and him, when I get a chance. That doesn't mean I don't talk or admire some of the people that support him. I do. It is just that it is so dang difficult not to talk about important stuff with people who do not believe in science or facts...



Well, it's been a month hasn't it? The balding guy with the strange combover and robotized wife, is being hailed as a disrupter. Yeah right. It's more like queen of chaos. As we are stunned by the attempted dismantling of institutions of democracy, it continues unabated with three main groups wreaking havoc; the vengeful Maga people hunting federal employees that are thought to have wronged trumpie and hurt his shallow feelings, the ideologues that are implementing Project 2025 almost word for word and perhaps are the most dangerous because they understand how the gov institutions work, and the non-elected president Musk, who has seized control, and already stopped, daily disbursement of millions of dollars from the treasury. He is joined by the techie billionaires who although gagging on the kool aid, are putting their finger in the air for which way the wind is blowing.  (Go here for the Musk/treasury rundown)


   The breath and depth of what is being done is staggering. The freeze of trillions of dollars for all kinds of federal payments that affects groups, cities, states, counties, and individuals, and then the retraction of the freeze, and now the piecemeal stuff with pronouncements that are vague but are hitting every federal agency. Employees across agencies received emails requiring them to replace all mentions of “gender” with “sex” in all “communications, forms, and documents” and to remove pronouns from email signatures. Federal agencies were also told last week that they had 60 days to eliminate DEI roles and programs, and an email encouraged federal employees to report colleagues who work in DEI roles. The language cleansing and closing of many gov websites that give health, contraception, and welfare guidance, an attack on journalists and media particularly NPR and related public broadcasting, and Musk-the immigrant who in the country without a work visa when he left college.  Clean water, clean air, public safety, monthly payments all are under the gun.


 


   It's no wonder most of us are stunned. This has never happened in our lifetime. Like many I have been gobsmacked by the flurry of actions in DC. Even though I read the blueprint in project 2025, even though I read many sources of what he was going to do, even though I read some of his speeches; I have been shocked. It was kind of like reading about a coming torrential downpour, seeing the gathering clouds, smelling the rain, and then standing in out the open deluged by water.


   Whether there have been disagreements, sometimes violent, with how things are being done by either party, those disagreements have occurred within an infrastructure that has not been questioned. There may have been threats, but treasury money continued to flow to water projects, aid for poor people, veterans assistance, retirees, scientists. No more.



  I’m slowly emerging from the funk. And I’ve been trying to find ways to grasp and describe the ‘why’ of what is happening. It’s not all bad. I believe some needed changes will happen. There is tremendous waste and corruption-billions of dollars-in almost every government agency, including congress and the military. However using a chainsaw is not the same as a scalpel. A better thought out analysis awaits for a later date.


But in the meantime...


I found this article by Ryan Grim in Dropsite that is a more a more articulate exposition of my more inchoate thinking. It is a long article but it gives substantial context to some of the actions in DC.


Some extended quotes…


“We are clearly living through a moment of unusual plasticity. History truly feels up for grabs in a disorienting fashion. It’s not obvious where any of this is headed.,,


…His (Arnaud Bertrand) framing of the mix of foreign policy moves that we’ve seen so far from Trump fits the category, pushing us to move past a knee-jerk, obvious analysis that may be missing larger structural forces at play. Describing Trump’s tariffs, he wrote recently, “It looks ‘dumb’ (as the WSJ just wrote) if you are still mentally in the old paradigm but it's always a mistake to think that what the US (or any country) does is dumb.”


“…It’s a useful reminder for me in particular; I am often immediately inclined to find much of what Trump proposes or does just flat-out stupid. And yet here he is, arguably the most consequential American figure in the past 50 years. Bertrand’s point is that we need to look past the chaos to see the bigger picture. And one is emerging if we care to look.”


“Here’s how Bertrand puts it:

  • Hegemony was going to end sooner or later, and now the U.S. is basically choosing to end it on its own terms. It is the post-American world order - brought to you by America itself. Even the tariffs on allies, viewed under this angle, make sense, as it redefines the concept of ‘allies’: they don't want—or maybe rather can't afford—vassals anymore, but rather relationships that evolve based on current interests. You can either view it as decline - because it does unquestionably look like the end of the American empire - or as avoiding further decline: controlled withdrawal from imperial commitments in order to focus resources on core national interests rather than being forced into an even messier retreat at a later stage. In any case it is the end of an era. [Emphasis added.]”

"Glenn Greenwald said,  “…USAID, like the National Endowment for Democracy, are well-documented CIA fronts that are designed to manipulate other countries' internal politics for the benefits of DC elites and nobody else in the US. Both agencies have wrought destruction and can't die soon enough.” Musk replied, “They’re not even good at it.”


“There’s no room for confusion here: Whatever else he is saying, Musk and company are clearly targeting USAID specifically because of the role it plays in advancing an aggressive American foreign policy that he and his allies want to roll back.”



   Some sporadic resistance has already arisen and will continue as the blitzkrieg sputters out, but I believe that significant unified opposition will coalesce towards the end of this year as people figure out where to attack the many weak spots of this regime. It takes some time to realize we are in a war (although that's been clear all along in maga world) about how our government functions. And who for.


  


   In the meantime, I urge you participate at the level you can.  Do something. Non-profits need volunteers, Goar Park or Cochise Harm reduction, CASA program, Friends of the San Pedro, senior center, and more orgs, all need people. Write letters/send emails or call to republican congresspeople. (go here for the easypeazy way to call. thanks to JD) The problems are large, the solutions start small.  



fred

Wire subscriptions are free and will remain so, but I would be grateful for your donation to offset the cost of subscriptions to the many news sites I utilize.  Use the QR code for Zelle with my email (bisbeewire@gmail.com) or send a check made out to fred miller, 39 Hazzard, 85603. Thank you.



And a big thank you to those who have already supported the Wire with contributions. I really appreciate your support.


................AROUND TOWN...............

 


BISBEE BOOKS/MUSIC HELLO/GOODBYE


There is a farewell/hello gig on Thursday Feb 6 1-4 to say goodbye to Ken and Craig and welcome the new owners, Eric and Melissa


++++++++++++


KBRP'S MARDI GRAS PARTY AT THE JONQUIL FEB 15


Put it on the calendar...It's a big party from 12-5 back of the Jonquil. Some of the best local music; Juniper Djinn, Fatigo BZB, the Rooks and more. Very good auction items, lotsa raffle stuff; former New Orleans native Mike Clements famous Gumbo (he owns outlaw Taqueria); The wonderous Eva (Jonquil) will be making batches of drinkies as well as MCing; I will be pouring your drinks along with Liz; Come out and support your local community radio station!


++++++++++


COST OF FOOD UP, UP, AND WAY UP


Grocery products are going up. CBS has an instructive chart on the cost of everyday products we buy including prices and the % increases of the product. (It seems to me that they are using urban market prices or maybe a composite. Rural food prices are increasing more than noted)


Plug in a product and the prices over the past five years come up. For instance; sugar is up .41 cents/70%, coffee $2.50/64%, ice cream $1.50/31%.


This chart was made before the gonif ordered tariffs. "There may be some pain."  he says. Yeah for us, but not for the rich mofos! Under the guise of illegal immigration and fentanyl smuggling, he ordered an emergency declaration and hit Mexico and Canada with 25% tariffs and China 10%. Few sectors are unaffected by sales taxes (tariffs) Look for building costs, gas, food, autos, parts, and many more products to increase precipitously.       Oh, but wait President Claudia Sheinbaum of Mexico


Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau


Read more at:


http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/articleshow/117898495.cms?utm_source=contentofinterest&utm_medium=text&utm_campaign=cppst


and Canadian PM Justin Trudeau both talked with trumpie and agreed to delay the tariffs for one month. Whatta a dryhumper!


BISBEE MEDIA MENTIONS


Artist haven


https://substack.com/home/post/p-155573799?utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web


Hillcrest apartments


https://www.yahoo.com/news/sale-city-bisbee-looking-sell-231228320.html


Ghosts


https://www.msn.com/en-us/travel/tripideas/american-cities-that-are-surprisingly-good-for-ghost-hunters/ss-AA1y0n2G


+++++++++++


BUILD MUSCLE, SHAKE YOUR BOOTY, BEND YOUR BODY IN UNNATURAL POSITIONS


in addition to the wonderful walking areas all over Bisbee there are several places to do indoor guided and self-guided exercises. Here are some of them. (Go here for This Week in Bisbee's complete listing of wellness/fitness.)


...The Arizona St.Fitness gym (215 Arizona St. in Warren/ez parking/24 hours) has everything  you might want in a gym in a very clean, compact, and friendly environment. There are more than 20 different weight machines, several walking/rowing/elliptical devices, as well as bar plates exercise bands, balls, and lotsa free weights,all for your use to build every part of your body Outside are a variety of machines as well as a speed bag. Sherri and Shawn are there every day to help if needed. You may even see me, straining my puny muscles in a vain effort to stave off the ravages of age. The cost is $40 a month, $35 for seasoned.


...When you are done, check out the progress of the new City Hall with a spiffy copper roof, and drop in to Warren Peace Cafe for some eats savory or sweet as well a a good selection of beverages. They also have music events periodically.


...James Coul's class at St. Pats (100 Quality Hill) is an opportunity to stretch, shake thy fanny to some excellent music, and lie down and contort your body with lots of other people. Friendly, all ages, all shapes, and you own degree of intensity. A couple bucks on Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 8 am. St. Patrick Church


...Various Yoga classes around town offer various ways to pretzel your body in poses that are very unnatural, including Wednesday morning at the Y, 9:15-10:15 with Amy $10; Sharon Stetter Monday and Friday yoga at the Kilimanjahro, 9:15 Monday, & Friday; The Aerie  schedule has yoga, aerial yoga!pilates, silks, flamenco, and more at 34 A Brewery at various times. Nancy Pipcorn does chair yoga at various places.


++++++++++


THE RETURN OF THE TURKEY BUZZARDS


Bisbee 2025 Return of the Turkey Vultures, Saturday, March 8, Bisbee Community Market, Vista Park. 9a-1pm.


+++++++++


THE BISBEE FOUNDATION GRANT CYCLE IS OPEN


The focus of the Bisbee Community Foundation is to be involved in Bisbee's future by working with groups and individuals who are in: arts, humanities, continuing education, environmental improvement, and historic preservation. The Foundations’s work is accomplished through grant and scholarship awards. Eligibility and information about the various opportunities for scholarships and grants can be found at http://www.bisbeefoundation.com . The current annual grant cycle is now open until March first.


+++++++++


ARTEMIZIA FOUNDATION ART SCHOLARSHIP ESTABLISHED


The scholarship, offered for the first time, will help cover the cost of fine and digital media art classes and expose them to the inner workings of an operating art museum. Applications for the current semester are being accepted through Feb. 28, 2025 via Scholarship Universe, a platform managed by the Cochise College Financial Aid Office. Go here for details. And go here for the latest show at the gallery


+++++++++


ANGELS FLIGHT PROVIDES AIR TRANSPORT TO PEOPLE IN NEED


They have arranged donated flights to people in need medical care and providing them safe passage. More than 100,000 flights to people creating pathways to healthcare across the Western United States. The volunteer pilots and planes fly people who may have medical needs not available locally nor accessible by car.


From their website: "Transportation challenges create one of the most daunting barriers to healthcare—a barrier second only to the cost. Every day, Angel Flight West’s volunteer pilots fly people to their medical appointments at no cost to the passenger. On the ground, Earth Angels drive passengers from the airport to the medical facility, also free of cost. Though we’re best known for linking passengers to valuable medical resources, we also provide transportation for other humanitarian purposes, such as individuals and families escaping domestic violence, disaster relief, therapeutic programs for veterans, and children’s specialty camps." Go here for more info.


++++++++++


SV FILMMAKER


Take a gander at the Bisbee"s Main St in this short film by Evan Escue.


+++++++++++++++


POISON AND DRUG REPORT 2024


Bisbee had 77 instances reported last year. Most cases managed by the Arizona Poison Center are a result of an accidental. Most were unintentional exposures. Go here for the full report.


++++++++++


COURT APPOINTED SPECIAL ADVOCATES (CASA) NEEDS HELP


The Cochise County Court Appointed Special Advocates program needs volunteers. Court Appointed Special Advocates help foster children who are navigating the courts, and the work they do is invaluable. At a difficult and confusing time in a child's life, the CASA helps to make sure that they are heard, writing reports to the judge and meeting with them regularly. Go here for more info


................COCHISE COUNTY..............

COUNTY SUPES SHAKIN A LEG!


The supervisors continue to meet almost daily in work and executive  sessions in addition to regular meetings. They are discussing whether to terminate or hire outside counsel, the relationship of the board with the county attorney's office, as well the usual stuff and planning more work sessions. The minute taker's fingers are sore. You can read their agendas and background here


 >>>>>>>>>>>>>>


JAIL TRAVAIL


There was an all-mail election in 2023 to approve a jail district that would house a new jail to be paid for by a half cent sales tax in the county. The Sheriff and others pushed hard for the measure to pass. It did. The vote to approve was narrowly passed by a 750 vote margin.


since then...


The tax has been collected since January 1, 2024. and has been put in a fund for the new jail.


But then…


Some citizens sued the County saying that among other things 10,000 inactive, but not purged from the rolls, voters were not mailed a ballot and they should have been.


So  then....


The county supes hired an attorney to defend the legitimacy of the election from the citizen suing.


But then...


An appeals court rejected some of the reasoning  superior court judge Thorn, sent some things back to him, and kicked the main issue to the AZ Supreme Court for a hearing.


And then


Two new supes were elected in the 2024 election and indicated they will voted to withdraw the county from defending the election that has already cost the county $83,000 in attorney's fees.


But then…


Sheriff Mark Dannels filed (actually the AG did the filing) to intervene in the case because he was an interested party being charged with operating the jail and previously had the support of the supes now out of office.


And then


The Sec of State said he supported Dannels intervention 


After that


The original citizens complainants sided with the new supes and also opposed his intervention saying they wanted to get attention back to the issue of the election administration.


In addition to and maybe because of


The underlying legal issue is the acknowledgement that the Sheriff is charging the jail fund to pay for running the jail, rather than out of his budget-not illegal it was condoned by the former supes-but of consequence to the issue of his intervention.


And then...


The new supes voted unan to oppose Dannel's motion to intervene.


And also...


According to Mayor Ken Budge, there are now other sites being considered for the new County jail (the old one is in Bisbee on Hwy 80) that distinctly contradicts the Sheriff who said the jail would be sited in Bisbee. There are now 5 other alternate locations the board (sups) are considering.


Not only that...


Those supes buggers are looking at charging cities for the operations of the jail.  The amount is undetermined but it doesn't bode good for the city budget. The mayor is  working with the other Mayor's to leave the district in place as the voters decided. None of this is good for Bisbee.


Stay tuned as the proposed jail house is rocked


A complete discussion of the jail district/jail issue is here


+++++++++++


NO PEACE, NO QUIET


Ramsey Canyon Inn (RCI) , residents along the canyon  road, and Ramsey Canyon Nature Preserve are all involved in a contentious battle in the once quiet birding and nature area.  RCI has been hosting weddings that are larger (50-100) and louder (bands) than the previous owner. This has led to a glut of cars on the narrow road, driveways being blocked, noise past 10 pm, and alleged harassment of Inn employees and neighbors. This year+ long dispute has resulted in a substantial amount of legal activity by the business and residents with injunctions  being sought by sides.The county has been involved and a possible lawsuit is in the works.  The Spring wedding season is coming soon as is the migration of birds through the area that is on the Mexico to Alaska flyway. Oh O.


 +++++++++++


COUNTY ATTORNEY DEBUTS NEW FACEBOOK PAGE


A new fb page just for the CA has been launched.  Check it out here:


...............FOOD AND BEV................

MEAT, POULTRY CORPORATE CONSOLIDATION


Along with the diminishing product choices listed below these are some startling stats about the meat and fowl biz. From Meat and bone


Pork, Beef, Poultry


The four major meat companies in the U.S.—Cargill, Tyson Foods, JBS, and National Beef Packing—control 55% to 85% of the hog, cattle, and chicken markets.


Four companies control 80% of the beef market in the US and other 4 companies (with some overlap) control  60% of the poultry market.


Beef Market:


Cargill, Tyson, JBS, and National Beef. Just the Brazilian conglomerate JBS alone has annual revenue of $52 BILLION dollars and they, along other major players invest billions in acquiring feedlots, processing plants, and even retail operations, securing their supply chain from farm to table.


Poultry Market: 


Tyson Foods, Pilgrim's Pride (owned by JBS, which is also a major player in the beef market), Sanderson Farms, and Perdue Farms. 


Eggs:


JBS is getting the egg on...the world's biggest meat producer, has bought a 50% stake in Brazil 's Mantiqueira. The company produces four billion eggs a year. JBS also has bought interests in salmon farming and  lab grown meat companies.


+++++++++++


BIRD FLU (Avian Influenza) MUTATION FOUND


The United States confirmed its first case of the rare avian influenza strain H5N9, raising concern among experts who worry the finding shows that the bird flu virus is mutating.


   The strain was found on a duck meat farm in California in November 2024, the World Organization for Animal Health said in an update Monday. Officials quarantined the farm, which subsequently killed all 119,000 birds.


   The farm detected H5N9 alongside cases of H5N1. The latter strain is associated with the ongoing bird flu outbreak that has killed more than 145 million birds since 2022.


From Food Dive:


+++++++++++


CANNABIS CANNED COCKTAILS...CA-CHING!


Total Wine sells them, many dispensaries do, the cannabis drink biz is hitting a high note (groan). Keef Cola, Sip Elixers, CQ, Tonic, are some of the big sellers (https://www.headset.io/the-best-selling-cannabis-products/arizona-beverage)


There is a grey (green?) area for cannabis drinks, most of which market themselves as hemp rather than cannabis. For your explanation and back ground go here


+++++++++++++++


JACK TACKS BACK


Jack Daniel’s owner Brown-Forman will lay off roughly 640 workers and close its bourbon cooperage in Louisville, Kentucky as part of a restructuring plan.The facility manufactures barrels to store and age whiskeys. Going forward, Brown-Forman will source bourbon barrels from an external supplier “at a competitive price,” the company said. The closure is part of the overall 12% reduction in the company’s 5,400-employee global workforce.


Changing drinking habits, threat of tariff's behind industry closures


Brown-Forman’s sales are down as drinkers pare back their consumption of spirits amid an uncertain economy. Younger consumers also are turning away from traditional booze in favor of canned cocktails, cannabis and nonalcoholic beverages.


Brown-Forman is the latest beverage company to reduce its footprint since last fall. PepsiCo announced in October it would shutter three bottling plants, while beer maker AB InBev (Bud light)  said it was closing a distribution center two months earlier. That move follows after a period of declining beer sales since early 2023, spurred in part by the highly publicized boycott of Bud Light. Last year, it laid off less than 2% of its corporate workforce and the company ceded market share in traditional beer to rivals like Molson Coors and Constellation Brands.


Not noted was the unease over Trumps threatened EU tariffs that in 2018 caused the spirits industry more than a half billion dollars in exports.


+++++++++


2025 WINE REPORT


Go here for the prognostications for the Wine industry in 2025.  Here are a few quotes.


---The supply imbalance of wine is caused by two dominant factors.  Today’s reduction of wine consumption, and corresponding supply imbalance, is heavily influenced by a fundamental shift in consumer demographics coupled with a resurgence of anti-alcohol campaigns.


---The decline of the Boomer population will drive a more aggressive outreach to younger consumers. The market is rotating out of 60+ aged consumers who index higher for wine purchases compared to other alcoholic beverage categories and making way for consumers who index lower for wine.


...............EVERYTHING ELSE................

CHECK FOR RECALLS FOR PRODUCTS BOUGHT ON AMAZON


Go Here


+++++++++++


YOU THINK YOU HAVE PRODUCT CHOICES?  THINK AGAIN


The creeping consolidation of monopoly capitalism.


Airlines


Delta is the result of 16 different mergers


America the result of 12


United is the result of 7


Southwest is the result of 5


The four biggest are partially owned by the same dominant  institutional investors


Rental Cars


Three corporations own 95% of the rental market


Enterprise owns Alamo and National


Avis owns Budget, Payless, Zipcar


Hertz owns Thrifty and Dollar


Hotels


Six corporations account for 80% of branded hotels


Wynham owns Ramada, La Quinta, Days Inn, Super 8, Howard Johnson as well a several smaller chains


Marriot owns Sheraton, Westin, and Residence Inn among many others.


Hilton owns Embassy Suites and Doubletree as well as several levels of the Hilton brand.


Booking services


Online travel booking sites are owned by three corporations


Expedia owns Expedia, Orgitz, Hotwire, Travelocity, Trivago, VRBO and several others


Booking Holdings owns Booking.com as well as Priceline, Kayak, cheapflights, agoda, and Open Table


and then there is also Tripavisor and Air B&b is worth $84 billion and has the majority of short term rentals


+++++++++++++


CLIMATE CHANGE AND GLOBAL WARMING


The world’s oceans are warming four times faster than in the 1980s, which helps explain recent unprecedented sea temperatures—and more extreme storms, a study showed. 

  • Sea temperatures hit record highs for 450 straight days between 2023 and early 2024, which helped fuel massive hurricanes. While some of this is caused by El Niño, the research found that 44% of the record warmth was caused by oceans absorbing heat at a faster rate. 

  • Oceans “set the pace” of climate change, adding to the urgency of meaningful steps to cut carbon emissions and wind down fossil fuels, the study’s lead author said. That effort is increasingly at odds with US policy under Trump, who’s doubling down on fossil fuel extraction

+++++++++++


THE WALKABLE (AND RIDEABLE) WONDERS OF TUCSON'S SABINO CANYON


Go here for a complete guide to this oasis in the Catalinas.


+++++++++++


THE MARKETERS AND THOSE ALPHABETICAL REFERENCES TO AGE GROUPS?


The focking marketers, and their amateur acolytes-influencers (ggrrr), who have got to name everything so they can pigeonhole people to sell us crap, started this stupid age groupings thing. From Baby Boomers on,  successive generations were  saddled with monikers. Google told me that  Neil Howe-a playwright, and William Strauss-a historian, were among the first to name the different generations in their 1991 book, “Generations.” Their unscientific, psuedo historical work was quickly utilized by advertising agencies to pigeonhole markets. Wow! watta surprise!

  • Gen Z consumers, born between 1997 and 2012

  • Generation Y, also known as Millennials, is generally considered to be 1981 to 1996:

  • Generation X (Gen X) is between the ages of 45 and 60 years old.

The breakdown by age looks like this:

  • Baby Boomers: Baby boomers were born between 1946 and 1964. They're currently between 57-75 years old (71.6 million in the U.S.)

  • Gen X: Gen X was born between 1965 and 1979/80 and is currently between 41-56 years old (65.2 million people in the U.S.)

  • Gen Y: Gen Y, or Millennials, were born between 1981 and 1994/6. They are currently between 25 and 40 years old (72.1 million in the U.S.)

    • Gen Y.1 = 25-29 years old (around 31 million people in the U.S.)

    • Gen Y.2 = 29-39 (around 42 million people in the U.S.)

  • Gen Z: Gen Z is the newest generation, born between 1997 and 2012. They are currently between 9 and 24 years old (nearly 68 million in the U.S.)

The term “Millennial” has become the popular way to reference both segments of Gen Y (more on Y.1 and Y.2 below).


Sometimes labeled with the moniker “Zillennials”, those wedged at the tail end of Millennials and the start of Gen Z are sometimes labeled with this moniker — a group made up of people born between 1994 and the year 2000.


Originally, the name Generation Z was a placeholder for the youngest people on the planet — although Generation A has now taken over that distinction. However, in the same way that Gen Y morphed into Millennials, there is certainly a possibility that both Gen Z and Gen A may adopt new names as they leave adolescence and mature into their adult identities. While the label Gen A makes discussion easier, it may not be the last word on this group of humans.


Focking disgusting!


>>>>>>>>>>>


EXTEND THE RANGE OF YOUR KEY FOB


Hold the fob higher (over objects like concrete barriers or hedges)


Use your head  or heart


(lotsa water that is used as a conductor/antenna)


Use a bottle of water


Stand significantly higher than the car.


Change the batter in a fob regularly


 


............... WORD...............

VEGAN BONE BROTH


Q: What about Vegan Bone Broth


1. Vegan Bone Broth: Ummmmm


2. Vegan Bone Broth: What can you make with a cauliflower carcass?


3. Vegan Bone Broth: What is faux pho?


4. Vegan Bone Broth: What is very expensive, totally organic, hot water?


5. Vegan Bone Broth: What makes a good base for kosher ham soup?


6. Vegan Bone Broth: What pairs well with nonalcoholic beer?


7. Vegan Bone Broth: What soup base is mentioned in the updated “Scarborough Fair” lyrics?


 


For Valentine’s Day


Good/bad ideas: Good idea: Give her a bowl of irises. Bad idea: Give her Ebola viruses.


 


Underachiever’s Midlife List of Goals: Win the admiration of my dog.


 


Bad product endorsers:


John Wayne Bobbitt for Microsoft.


Lorena Bobbitt for Johnson Wax.


 


Neologisms containing POLE: Gestapolemics: Calling your political opponents Nazis.


 


Change a movie title by one letter: Four Weldings and a Funeral: A man attaches a set of rocket engines to his Chevy and momentarily achieves his dream of driving a flying car.


 


“Joint legislation” by current members of Congress: The Traficant-DeLay-Akaka Roadside Port-A-Pot Act


 


Two words differing by one letter: The difference between genial and genital: It’s okay to greet your neighbors with a genial wave.


 


Good/bad/ugly jokes: Good: You get to spend a summer’s day at a beautiful beach. Bad: It’s awfully crowded and noisy. Ugly: It is June 6, 1944.


 


Something you don’t want to hear after getting married: “Now that’s a coincidence. My birth mother’s name was Clytemnestra de Nunkyhaven, too!”


 


Limerick that begins with Da:


The dachshund, each hair and each wart of it,


Serves for the wags to make sport of it.


With a sharp, pointy snout,


He is squat but stretched out.


And that is the long and the short of it.


 


My name is Lady Liberty.


 I welcome you, if you should be


With bulging purse, and you’re from Norway.


Otherwise, back out the doorway.


 


Then and now: Then: Mayberry and Opie. Now: Mayberry and opioids.


 


Only-in-Washington pickup lines: “Babe, why are you wasting your time with an assistant to a deputy secretary, when you could be with me, a deputy assistant undersecretary?”


 


“Breed” two racehorse names and name the foal:


Cloud Man x Extra Fifty = Meatierologist


Perfect Saint x Caribbean = Francis of a C Sea


Life on the Road x Villainous = RV Weinstein


 


Neologisms totaling 14 Scrabble points: Buphoon: An ill wind from Washington that blows nobody any good.




 

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